INSECURITIES - CAUSES
Feelings of insecurity are feelings of deep uncertainty, usually caused by lack of trust and confidence. The opposite of insecurity is, of course, confidence.
Insecurity is often overlooked; in fact, many do not know that they're suffering from it. It is a kind of silent killer as it causes much unrest and battle in the mind.
Insecurities can be the cause of a few reasons:
1. Not knowing the love of God - When we fail to realise how much God loves us, we'll tend to depend on people. And because human beings are not perfect, we face rejection. This causes us to question within ourselves if God really loves us.
2. Not knowing the sovereignty of God - God is sovereign. Whatever word(s) that He speaks will never return to Him void. Prophecies that were spoken, if they're from God, will come to fulfillment in due time. Insecurity steps in when one cannot see rays of light being shed on the prophecies. Sometimes it might be circumstances that can blur the vision. It might seem that it's going to come to past soon, but in fact, it has not. All these will cause one to doubt if these words are from God; if God has forgotten them/what He said; or if they have done something which will have caused them to be 'forfeited' of the promises.
3. lack of encouragement - When people around us, especially those we love or look up to do not give us the assurance, we will begin to think if we can really make it, if the promises are true etc. Sometimes words help a lot (I'm going to talk about it in my later entries), and that is why we as Christians are told to exhort one another.
4. negative wounds/ criticism- Unhealed memories can be a great hindrance. Negative words spoken to us will affect us, and in one way or another, may cause us to believe in the lies. This will give more room to the devil to move.
5. comparism with others- Many people (including me) tend to look at what is happening in other people's life. We forget that everyone is unique and God is doing a different work in different lives. Insecurity then creeps in and even causes jealousy.
Do You Battle With Insecurity? In the following article a young lady we know is sharing her heart, trusting that others will recognize, face and beat their insecurities. God Bless, - Rodney W. Francis (The Gospel Faith Messenger Ministry).
SOME SIGNS OF INSECURITY
Being a very insecure person myself, I can tell if a person is insecure by talking to them, or maybe, just by looking at them, and the way they act. There are several ways you can tell if a person is insecure:
- They Are PASSIVE - An insecure person is usually passive. Insecurity causes a person to doubt if they will be accepted, and they fear rejection. Not wanting to face the risk of getting hurt, they build “a wall of protection” between themselves and other people. They will look reserved, and at times will be considered as being egotistic. But in fact, it is because of their insecurities (maybe caused by past rejection and hurts) that they react passively. Often times, these people love to talk and laugh like any other people, but are waiting for others to approach them first. When people do start to approach them, they will feel very happy, though they might not show it on their faces.
- They Are Defensive - Insecure people (like I have mentioned) have walls built between them and others (including God). They do not allow others to try to 'break down' those walls, which are considered as their 'protection'. Thus, when they're attacked, they will not cease to fight back. At times, they might not realise what they say or do, and can be rather hurtful. All they want is to 'get back' at the other party. The reason behind this is simply because they do not like being 'attacked' because of their insecurities.
- They Have a Tendency to Withdraw - Insecure people will find it hard to mix with other people, and at times even when other people accept them, they will still tend to draw back, because they are afraid of 'insincere friendship'. These people usually have a very deep sense of insecurity and can be categorised at the 'dangerous level'. It may take quite a long time before they can actually be sure that other people accept them, and that they are sincere enough to become friends. Only when they are sure about that, will they begin to open up and show their 'real self'.
- They Are Super-sensitive - Insecure people are like broken glasses. They break easily, but are very hard, or almost impossible, to repair. They have a lot of pre-conceived ideas, and at times feel hurt, even when other people don't mean anything at all. They are very sensitive and usually draw a conclusion according to their own understanding, which is usually negative. For example, when an insecure person offers something to other people and are rejected, the insecure person will then think that they are not liked or accepted, and feel hurt. Or, when a group of people are talking and the conversation stops when an insecure person walks in, that person will immediately believe that he/she is the subject of the conversation, and something not quite nice was being said. In both situations, the other party may not mean it at all, being totally unaware of the feelings going on inside that insecure person.
- They Are Thirsty for Attention - Insecure people will always go around looking for attention. This happens because they feel that no one actually cares if they even exist, or what they do, or what happens to them, and that is their main cause of insecurity. They want to know if they really matter to at least someone; or if they are just ‘trash’ in the eyes of other people. They try to gain attention through a number of ways, such as talking, or just being 'weird'. In some extreme cases those who are seriously insecure might behave in an unruly way, and even get involved in gangs and criminal activity. Do not be surprised if many of the troublemakers are actually insecure people. Many will tell you about their insecurities if you ask them. All they want is attention. They can and will do anything just to get people to notice them.
- They Suffer From Low Self-esteem and Rejection - Insecurity keeps people from fulfilling their purposes in God, simply because they are insecure about their ability to accomplish it. They are afraid that they might not live up to that calling and, as a result, will be looked down upon by others. This happens, not because they are incapable, or God made a wrong choice (God never makes mistakes), but simply because of the deep insecurities within them. Also, insecure people will often refuse other people to compliment them, because they're afraid that the praises from people are just to make them feel happy - and that may not be true at all.
- They Are Manipulative - When people are insecure, they are very afraid of losing friendships. They do everything they can to 'secure' their friendships, and unknowingly they become manipulative or controlling. For instance, they might want their friends to themselves most of the time and will not allow their friends to talk much with others for fear they might lose their friendship.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF INSECURITY
Personally, I find insecurity as a very depressing and painful thing. When we feel insecure, we keep worrying and wondering about certain things, and we tend to focus so much on our circumstances that we forget that God is in control.
- Insecurity affects our relationship with God - When we are unsure if God truly loves us (as He has said and shown through the death of His Son on the Cross), we cannot enjoy the privileges that He gives His children. When a child is unsure if his/her father loves them, the child will not know the father well enough to enjoy the relationship, such as asking their father for certain things, or asking for advice. God, our Heavenly Father has great gifts in store for us and, unless we realize that those gifts are for us, we will not open them; and unless we unwrap the gift boxes, we will not know the contents inside, and, therefore, the gifts will be useless.
- Insecurity affects our relationship with other people - Insecurity causes us to have many pre-conceived ideas which are false. For example, when people do not talk to you, or approach you, it does not mean that the person does not like you, or has anything against you. When one has an idea like this, the person will start drawing away from people - and this will make things worse. Worse still, people will regard you as arrogant.
- Insecurity prevents God from fulfilling His promises in our lives - Because insecurity is a question within ourselves regarding our standing in God, it is a great hindrance in our ministry for Him. When a person is insecure about what God has called him/her to do; probably because of unbelief or circumstances, he/she cannot be effective. Besides, an insecure person will not be able to stand firm if something happens while serving God in that area.
- Insecurity gives the devil a foothold – All the above can actually be summarized to this statement. The devil seeks to destroy believers, and the most effective way he does this is to control the mind. The most wonderful thing a believer can have is to be a child of God, and all the devil wants to do is to create doubt about their identity in Christ. When a believer starts to doubt, oppression and double-mindedness creeps in. In this way, the believer is in bondage instead of acting on the authority that God has given us.
THE CURE FOR INSECURITY
Feelings of insecurity cannot be allowed to over rule our lives, as it will be a great hindrance to us from moving on in God. God has given us the power to overcome the devil and all his schemes.
- Admit your insecurities – Unless we admit that we are insecure we can never overcome it. Insecurity has been overlooked by a lot of people, and many others do not even know that they are insecure. The devil has been destroying our lives silently, and will continue to destroy them until we start to admit our insecurities and bring them before God. Do not hide your insecurities any longer. Admit that you have them and bring them before God.
- Spend time with God – Someone once said to me, “Unless you spend time with God you will not know Him personally; and unless you know Him personally you will not understand how much He loves you, and you will continue to stay insecure.” I find this perfectly true. God is just like a friend, a Father, and He always wants to spend quality time with us. When we spend time with Him we will get to know Him more intimately, and we will truly realize how much He loves us. Knowing His love without truly understanding it deep in our hearts will not bring us far. When we get to know God more, our insecurities will slowly fade away as we begin to get rooted in His love.
- Knowing your identity – The moment we accept Christ into our lives, He does not only become our Saviour, but our Heavenly Father too. He makes us to become princes and princesses. And as princes and princesses of the Heavenly Kingdom, God has a lot for us; far more than we can ever imagine. We are not called to collect the crumbs underneath the Master’s table, but to eat and drink with Him. In 1 Peter 2:9 God says that we are "a chosen generation, a royal nation, a people belonging to God." We belong to the heavenly royalty. But do we actually recognize this? Are we enjoying the privileges as God’s children, or are we contented with just eating the crumbs?
- Believe in yourself and God – At times, especially when there is no one around to encourage us, or when we feel discouraged, we need to get on our feet and start believing in ourselves and God. When God has called you to do something, He will bring it to past no matter how bleak the future may seem. Refuse to allow the enemy to bombard you with lies. Start standing firm on God’s Word and proclaim it over your life. Do not be double-minded, but trust God that He shall bring all things to past. If you choose to stand firm, the enemy cannot control you, no matter how hard he tries.
- Accept yourself – God made you to be YOU! Everyone is unique in God’s eyes. God has equipped us with special gifts and abilities, and it is up to us to discover them. Often we feel insecure because we want to be like other people. We try so hard to imitate others that we forget that we are wonderfully and fearfully made. Unless and until we accept ourselves for who we are, we can never be effective. Every part of the body is important, even the little toe. When we allow ourselves to be fully used by God, we will be amazed at how much He can do through us. Stop comparing yourself with others. We do not need to be in the ‘frontline’ to prove that God is using us. Nurses in the army camp are as important as the soldiers, as without them the wounded soldiers cannot fight. Rejecting ourselves is a slap on God’s face, as we are saying that God has made a mistake in creating us.
We cannot overcome insecurities by our own strength, for the battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities of darkness. Surrender your struggles to God and let Him have them!
So, are you an insecure person? Or is anyone of your friends showing one of the signs above? Insecurity requires deliverance and deep healing, and only God can do that. Just continue to trust God and ask Him to deliver you from your insecurities today!